9 - Being

Susanna Suchak (May 27, 2007)

Many will remember Susanna Suchak from a couple of years ago when she came to us from London and spoke to us once a month. She added a continuity to the wheel of our year of Sunday Services, and it is my pleasure to be inviting her back to speak to us once again.

We light this chalice to affirm ?
that new light is coming...
to break through to enlighten our ways; that new truth is ever waiting...
to break through to illumine our minds;
And that new depth of love is ever waiting...
to break through to crack our hearts open.
Like seeds in the dark, we await the light...

Being right? ? Being kind? ~ So, what's the difference? ... So what's your point?

n trying to define which principle my talk is most related to today, I find I am in a quandary. Only one? I have to choose only one? Sadly, I can't. They all apply ? albeit with some modifications on my part. So pick one if you must, but if you know them all by heart, perhaps you will enjoy trying to pin the principle on the paragraph; at any rate it will give you something to do if what I am saying just isn't your cup of tea for today.

I am not trying to be tricky when I begin by saying that there are two definitions of "right" ? you can be "correct", or you can be "morally sound" and then again correct can be as simple as straight-forward honesty, but is honesty ever straight forward? Let's pursue morally sound as our definition for right knowing that morally sound encompasses a vast field of principles, compassion springs to mind.

"Kind" also has two definitions ? you can be 'gentle and compassionate'; and you can be 'of the same type, class, or sort' ... as in, we are all one kind. (my note: the Dalai Lama does state that there is such a thing as "stupid compassion" and I must touch on that one)

I believe being right and kind can be mutual ? providing we embrace inclusivity and diversity, in whatever position we take. Better stated I see that as allowing ourselves to be "wrong" now and again. And that may be difficult at times. And I hear your thoughts, "So what's wrong about being right anyway?" Nothing. And everything.

When right = "right over" violence is done. Whether it is overt, obvious, intentional is not the point. The real point is that violence is done both to us and to "them". We can be right and just let it slide, awkwardly, resistently ? and rarely. But where does that need to be "right over another" come from? How did we get here.

John Dominic Crossan, a former Servite monk and present and long standing, well respected Jesus scholar, explains that if we follow throughout the entire Bible we will discover that humans over time and quite consciously have made God into a violent dominator ? you know crush ?em smite ?em kinda guy ? a great injustice to God. btw.

This, in his opinion, stems from humanity getting the whole Creation story wrong. You see many of the so-called Christian Right (sorry about that) proclaim that God created the Universe in six days and on the seventh day God rested. Well, in Dom's opinion, and for what it matters, in mine too, we got the whole Creation story wrong. God created on seven days and on the seventh day he created the Crown of Creation, he created the Sabbath. And his only requirement of us was to observe the Sabbath ? but we don't. And I don't mean that we don't attend a worship service one day in seven and pray and thank God for all he has done for us. What we got wrong is that we aren't supposed to be passive recipients; we are supposed to be in relationship. There is your 7th principle ? "Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part." But also the 6th, "The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all." Now, what would that look like if we were partners in both Creation and Celebrating the Sabbath?

I contend here that it would demand of us ? I know that is a strong word, but it is the right word ? full participation in Creation (of if you prefer that interrelated web of life) and in the Celebration of the Sabbath (again this refers to that interrelated web of life). But it would also involve another UU principle, "Justice, equity and compassion in human relations" which I believe is number 2. However, if we bear in mind the creation story and particularly the creation of the Sabbath, we cannot be just, equitable and compassionate only in our human relations; we must act justly, kindly and rightly within the whole of creation ? and that is what celebrating the Sabbath meant originally, and that is what it means today.

For you see, it distills down to the equation that we MUST be both ALWAYS, always BOTH?at the same time. Now that said, I must point out that we will fall short of the mark, probably often, maybe most of the time. And that is where those folks way back in the long ago in the ancient Mediterranean back forty got the idea of "original sin" because they presumed (and I think they may be on to something) that it is human nature to tend toward construing any natural (some might say Divine) law into a suggestion for action.

Now I know "sin" is not a popular word and so I turn to Jacqueline Fehlner, an art therapist and spiritual director who explains it from Julian of Norwich's perspective, something like this, "Sin" is the theological word for that which breaks a relationship, and the reactions and actions making and keeping it unhealthy or dysfunctional. Julian did not condemn the person who was in such a state. She talked about how the person needed to be there in that pain until such a time that they felt it fully, saw it and were ready and willing to move beyond it. When are we going to be ready and willing to move beyond our own brokenness, our own resistance to being in relationship, to the Laws of the Universe? Do we even have to? Is sin an obsolete construct? By the way that our world is progressing more and more rapidly toward a premature demise, these natural or Divine laws are not guidelines ? they are LAWS. We miss the mark at our peril.

Oh great, susanna, thanks for the gloom and doom ? so what am I supposed to do with this information?

Well, I'm going to tell you. And in the same breath that I tell you this, know that I have as much trouble as most and more than some in trying to do what I know, and for that matter what you know too is RIGHT and KIND. There seems to be an evolutionary hiccup in making what we know drive what we do?at least with any consistency and certainly with any ease.

If we can suspend our cynicism and view God as Creator, Ground of All Being, whatever you want to call this animating force of our cosmos, then we can see that humanity is not the crowning glory of this huge cosmos; and if you cannot please follow my thread so that we can come to the same meaning that we are one interrelated web of life or family. For you see this is the kernel of my thesis. Whether we come by it literally or metaphorically, if and often we come to the same meaning that is what counts. This kernel is what allows us to be right and kind simultaneously and continually.

The way I see it is that we are all seeds (or tough nuts) and contain much inside but it requires the optimum conditions so that we are allowed to crack open gently and in a timely manner; thereby becoming something much bigger and better than we might ask or imagine.

Kindness (compassion) and Rightness (truth) are deep matters that lie (enclosed in layers that must unpeel) under the surface (of the earth or under our skins) like we "seeds". Like us they await the right conditions to bloom. Good earth (appropriately rich soil), clean water (rain), warm sunshine and often the work of many "hands" ? sometimes it is the tiller's hoe sometimes it is the squirrels.

Now that we have an analogy going here let's dig a little deeper. Who or what is the tiller? And for that matter who or what is the squirrel? Either way we are works in progress, perhaps though we have a choice about the method in which we will be "helped" to bloom into compassionate, truthful partners within this web of life. For in truth and compassion, it seems that other partners do know their part in this partnership. If we can get over ourselves we can learn from the others, whether they are tillers or squirrels ? and you know that you have both in your life. Tillers might be teachers, friends, or the natural world's artisans. Squirrels, well you know who they are.

It demands that we let go of our need for violence. And that would entail letting down our protective barriers and maybe even our beliefs in what is right, or better said, the way things SHOULD be. Maybe we don't really know the way things should be, especially we as individuals. Maybe the only way we can find that is in community. One thing for sure is that we have to learn to be comfortable with being in the dark (like a seed) which might require us to sit in the present and just be quiet/still. Many traditions would call this practice meditation, even contemplative meditation and in this Presence Of Absence as Doris Grumback has titled her book on prayers and an epiphany; we learn to let go of our self and just be in a Cloud of Unknowing another book title about contemplative meditation written by an unknown monk in 14th C England. And while we are there in the darkness we will come to understand?maybe.

What can being in the dark teach us? Maybe nothing. But it will give rise to questions, many questions. And as Wendell Berry has told us, "It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey."

Because here is my point, being right and being kind is not obvious or easy?sometimes it can be downright disconcerting if not painful?but it if anything is obvious, it is that being right and being kind is the way to practice non-violence?which is the only way to achieve real peace?the shalom kind. And one of the only ways we can learn how to be non-violent, another word for compassionate and truthful, ALWAYS and SIMULTANEOUSLY is in community. We must get ourselves planted which for humans involves connectedness?being partners within community.

So you say, "Here I sit, I am in community." But I ask, "Are you?" There is only one real way to be in community and that is through active involvement, by being part of some thing, some outreach, some activity that the community does as a group. We can't flit around it; we can't dabble in it; we can't just absorb the principles by osmosis; and we can't keep it our own little secret. If UUs I have known and loved taught me anything, it is this. If you want to learn how to be kind and right all at the same time ? jump in with both feet. And while you're at it, invite a friend, or two. You will not get it right or act kindly all the time; you will not be treated justly and compassionately all the time. But you will be embraced with love and we will all learn together.

Linda Reith and I must be on the same wavelength, for the day after I finished writing this talk, the May/June newsletter arrived in my email box with the following ? paraphrased metaphor ? Guelph has the right combination of seed (intention & and people), fertile soil (expertise, knowledge, abilities) and rain/sunshine (willingness / responsiveness). I think that explains a lot of the recent successes: The seder, the music service, the historical timeline. Each of us has a role to play in this metaphorical garden, well many roles ? different roles for different projects. The audience/participant is as vital as the organizer. It's all about attitude. Each of us is coming now expecting to hear about aspects of our congregational life that will interest us and call us to some kind of action. That's the oxygen that brings congregations to life.

I must admit that I had this talk prepared weeks and weeks ago. I thought I had "it" all together. I had a plan that I was working and things were coming together for us. Then our lives kind of came unraveled and while I was reading Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is to try to help me to make sense of this domino effect I was living under I came across this wonderful quote, "People often ask me if I had a religion before 1986, and I say yes?it was, "My children should pick up their socks. This was my religion, and I was totally devoted to it, even though it never worked." Well, my religion for many, many, many years was, "Do what is right and the world will be kind OR do what is kind and God will make your life right." In other words if you do the right and kind things, your life will reflect that. Things will fall into place. Right? I think that New Agers would call this "visioning your perfection"; Norman Vincent Peale called it "The Power of Positive Thinking." But in that unraveled mess that life threw at us, I didn't feel so full of Light and Love and some days it was very difficult for me even to think, or hope, or even pray?much less envision my perfect life.

Now I am sure that many of you in this room know that to think we as individuals control the events around us is magical thinking and most of us outgrow magical thinking when we reach that "age of reason" around the age of seven?at least we fool ourselves into thinking that we are beyond it when things are going along according to our plan. But then you see, then is when we are actually most actively participating in that magical thinking?we think that planning, doing what is right according to that plan, that being kind and fair and honest will act as some amulet of protection?

But what happens when our lives unravel? That's the question I am posing to all of you today. What do you do when your lives unravel? Are you still able to continue being kind and doing right ? even to yourselves? For me what it took was going into the dark, making friends with it and just resting in that darkness?like a seed. I don't think a seed "trusts" or even "does" anything. It doesn't hope, or envision, or pray. It just waits because that is what is the right thing to do in the darkness. Byron Kate would call it learning to "love what is." Buddhists call it mindfulness. Some Christians would call it waiting on the Lord. Whatever you call it, it is something to allow ourselves ? to just be. Or as Ram Das might say, be here now. If it's darkness; it will pass; if it's light this too shall pass.

As humans we can meditate, pray, or fight the darkness, but mostly we just have to wait?alone, in the dark. But if we live in community and we know that we have a vital role to play in that larger reality then we know that the darkness is a temporary place and space and we will be able to grow into the light. We don't have to vision it; we don't have to force ourselves to believe it. We trust. We trust. We trust. Because at the center of that word is "us".

So if you like me have dark spaces in your life, I invite you to, in the words of Miguel de Unamuno, who you might recall as the writer of Don Quixote and Sancho, "Sow the living part of yourselves in the furrow of life."

And slowly, gently, our husks will crack open and we will bloom and blossom and the world will see the evidence. Share your love, your compassion, your truth. Don't stay in that dark, warm, cozy place and wonder about what could be. Live it! Share it! and we will grow together.

May it be so.
Amen and Amen.