Welcoming Congregation - What Next

Barbara McDowall (June 18, 2006)

I am delighted to be here with you this morning as you embark on revisiting the Welcoming congregation initiative which affirms people who are bi-sexual, gay, lesbian and/or transgender. This is a time to reflect on how well you are doing, a time to review your actions to see if they are congruent with your words and intent and a time to ask yourselves if you can be more truly inclusive.

My wife, Gail and I were one of 10 couples in Ontario who fought for the right to marry legally. Through the process, we learned how important public education is in creating a climate of understanding, compassion and support. As we stood up for what we believed in, we were visible to the broader community who wished to lend their support. We learned about the need to create safe space for all points of view to be heard respectfully. Many people shared their fear about what this change would mean to them. Sadly, this fear was fueled by ignorance and misinformation. We became aware of how rarely we actively listen to one another, to really hear what is important for someone else and to be comfortable with what frightens them. In creating a safe space, we open up the possibility of compassionate understanding on a deeper level. We become engaged in that person's story and conversely they in ours and we see our commonalities. At the successful conclusion of this case, we had an increased awareness this case was not really just about lesbian and gay rights, it was about human rights

My purpose this morning is to:

1. Thank
   
2. Celebrate
   
3. Encourage
   
4. Challenge

The reflection we just heard from Martin Niemoller is a very powerful one for me. I first encountered these words in 2004 when I was working with the Halton District School Board of Education. I was a peer education coordinator hired to assist students in creating a peer education project related to the human rights issue of homophobia. These students recognized the need to educate their peers about this issue which was prevalent in their schools. Niemoller had successfully put into words what we learned through our involvement in the same sex marriage case. I came away with a new understanding. Whenever anyone experiences discrimination, we are all touched. No one is immune from discrimination.

I believe it is imperative we take responsibility for ourselves and each other. We must be prepared to stand up for what we know to be right, for what we say we believe in. We must be prepared to say "the Emperor has no clothes" ? even though we may be the only one to say it.

As an interfaith minister, I have a great deal of respect and admiration for the Unitarian movement. You are leaders and role models for other churches and the world as you intentionally and visibly live out your principles. The Unitarian commitment to affirming individuals, social justice and the environment stands as a template for conscious living.

Unitarians, along with the United Church of Canada, were among the first faith communities to come forward in support of same sex marriage in Canada. They stood with us contributing signed affidavits, writing letters to the editors of various newspapers as well as articles in defense of the right of same sex couples to legally choose to marry. We were blessed to have such eloquent spokespeople, like Mark Morrison Reed, former co-pastor of First Unitarian Congregation in Toronto who spoke on our behalf.

In May of last year, Gail and I took a leap of faith and moved to Guelph. I remember attending your church that September. I was impressed with the sense of community I found here. Later, I met with, Linda Reith, your president, who shared with me the willingness and openness on the part of this congregation to embrace a wide variety of initiatives. I was delighted to be invited to participate in last year's Solstice Service and thoroughly enjoyed working with Linda and the team. There is a very engaging energy in this place.

We are also members of the Guelph Pride Committee and we were blessed to have Linda join us as we organized this year's successful event. We proudly displayed the UU Rainbow banner at the first annual Guelph Pride Volunteer Appreciation event held at the Old Quebec Street Shoppes. It is important for the City of Guelph to see the tangible support that exists between progressive communities of faith such as the Unitarian Congregation of Guelph and the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and transsexual community - the queer community. For the sake of brevity, I will be referring to the community as the queer community

I congratulate you on adopting the Welcoming Congregation initiative in 2001. This congregation deliberately and courageously chose to create safe space for queer people, their families and friends. It can be easy to say who we are and what we believe in. However, even more important are the actions that give those words substance, give them life. Without action, words are merely hollow, impermanent substitutes. You have been willing and generous to open your doors to groups serving the needs of queer people. For example, a Transgender Mentoring & Resource Support group was looking for meeting space in May. When the request was made, the response was a resounding "yes". You have made and continue to make a difference by standing up for what you know to be right.

How often have we heard individuals, corporations or institutions proudly unveil their mission and vision statements and talk about their values and beliefs only to see the opposite in action? Once the fanfare subsides, it is business as usual without a system in place for accountability, for measuring how well that organization is meeting their declared commitments. The same can be said of us as individuals. Who holds us accountable for who we say we are? Are we setting aside time to evaluate our progress as we move in the direction of who we say we want to be?

As we become more immersed in a diverse, multi-cultural/multi-faith world, we are presented with change at what appears to be an alarming rate. We are finding ourselves in environments where we may be the minority. We are working with people who are different from us with a variety of different cultural backgrounds, habits and beliefs. We can also find similar challenges within our communities of faith. The better able we are to relate well to all types of people and the more we understand, accept and value diverse backgrounds, the more able we are to thrive in an ever-changing society.

By consciously and intentionally holding ourselves accountable, on a regular basis, to be all of who we say we are, we have the potential to create safe space for all of humanity ? all our brothers and sisters. Recently, we saw the arrest of 17 Muslim men and teens in Toronto. How quickly a whole faith community can be demonized by the actions of a small minority. We become afraid and respond from that fear. We can so easily forget our interconnectedness and isolate ourselves. Our brothers and sisters soon become the "other".

I mentioned consciousness and intention a moment ago. I believe they are the key to consistently being as "true" as we possibly can. It also means we must, on a regular basis, take the time to check in, to hold ourselves and each other accountable to walking our talk, to honouring our values and beliefs so that we stay on track. From this place, we can identify where we have gotten off course and make the necessary navigational corrections. It is essential we maintain our integrity.

Five years ago, you courageously began an intentional journey by adopting the Welcoming Congregation program. It takes courage and dedication to stand up for what you believe in.

For a very long time, the organized church has demonized, marginalized and disenfranchised queer people. Symbols are a powerful method of communication. Is the rainbow symbol clearly visible inside and outside your building? Is it on your home page and on every piece of communication? Is your language inclusive? Would it be clear to someone visiting your home page or your church home that you are a diverse community of mixed ages, genders, sexual orientation, and race? People are won or lost at either location. If the message is ambiguous, they won't look any further.

How well do Guelphites know who you are and where you are? Are there queer people in leadership? All of these are tangible symbols to people for whom talk is cheap and for whom actions speak louder than words.

So what does the future hold in store for this congregation with regard to the Welcoming Congregation? You have taken the first step in a two step process. Are you prepared to go the extra mile? Are you prepared to complete the process you have already begun? I would sincerely like to encourage you to intentionally and consciously complete this final step. You have come so far not to complete the circle.

Remember Frodo in Lord of the Rings, as much as he wanted to get rid of that darned ring entrusted to him, he realized he had to carry on and complete the task he'd accepted. He was compelled by his word.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "You can be the change you seek in the world."

This church is the microcosm of the macrocosm. Quantum physics says when a butterfly flaps its wings here in Guelph; it will be felt around the world. Everything we say, think and do counts. Changing the world begins with you, this congregation. You are entering upon an exciting time in your evolution as a faith community. You may not be a large congregation but what you do certainly matters to the whole.

This church community is at an exciting crossroads in time. Continue the great work you began 5 years ago. The choice you make will not only impact queer people, it will be closely watched by other marginalized, disaffected, and disenfranchised people.

Today we talk about the well being, safety and inclusion of queer people. Tomorrow, it could be someone else, another community whose well being, safety and inclusion are in jeopardy. Martin Niemoller's words speak to the vigilance we must exercise so no one becomes a victim of discrimination and hate.

My vision of a fully inclusive church begins with intentional transparency from the outside in. There would be clear symbols such as the rainbow on the outside of the building as well as the inside. There would be a rainbow flag strategically located in plain view. I would see a queer person in a leadership role. I would see other queer people around me. The Board of Directors would also include queer people. The language written or spoken would be intentionally inclusive. All communication such as the Sunday bulletin would clearly speak to the inclusion of queer people and would include identifiable symbols. When I visit the home page, the first thing to stand out would be the rainbow symbol and the inclusive language required to speak directly to queer people. And finally, I would see the church actively and regularly supporting the queer community beyond the walls of the church.

I hope what I have shared with you today will be helpful. I realize I have left you with a lot of questions. I invite you take them with you as you consider where you go from here. And I wish you well in your deliberations.

In conclusion, I leave you with this reflection from Heather Joy Skelton:

"You will be most alive when you have the courage to live your vision and values, when you allow your compassion and human spirit to come through, when you demonstrate your leadership in your place of worship or workplace even in the face of fear. Organizations and churches do not make decisions, people do. And when those people, those individuals are guided by their own values, their authentic selves, the decisions are grander, more inspirational, and more creative! We can make big shifts on the planet by being ourselves instead of following the tribe."